I've choosen to take on some challenges, otherwise known as opportunities for improvement. I think the fasting is the most difficult because, while I don't feel the extreme desire to eat right before dusk, I feel drained and lethargic during the day (minus about 2 hours of normality). Thus, the grumpy side.
My performance is down at school. Small issues become large.
Most recently, I've felt like snapping at my best friend who I last heard from back in the USA (and who is reconfirming his status as emailphobic). I would like to leave him 30 day message on the answer machine (one of my last messages lasted about 10 hours) but my umbilical cord home is tied to the computer. My preferred alternative would be to show up on his doormat; it's a shame the core of the Earth lies in between our residences.
Independence and challenges to my comfort zone may serve me well. More impetus to seek my own family and lifestyle. Yet on a more immediate basis, maybe I will learn the sense of self-restraint that is behind the meaning of these acts of roza.
1 comment:
Hello Scott. For what it's worth, your Dad referred me to your blog ... consider it expanding your sphere of influence. If you want me off, then just say so ... no hard feelings, really! But since you haven't had the time or opportunity to throw me off yet ...
As to the issue of "Fasting", I've tried it, and discovered an internal focus that once again centered the world on me. (The last such events were at the age of 2-3(?), that I'll admit, when everything really was about me. Right?) Only this time, there was more on my mind than, hey that's my ball! Nobody understood, and quite frankly, I thought it violated my 'religious code' to speak of it. I've not repeated the act; perhaps selfishly? Not that I'm against 'Fasting', I just don't see the act as justified in my Christian pursuit. Love thy neighbor, yes, Be always aware of God's presence, most certainly. (Now aren't you glad I posted.)
As to your issue of learning "the sense of self-restraint"? In line with, "Hey King, you're not wearing any clothes", I have to say, "Hey Scott, from what I'm observing, you're a role model for self-restraint." But don't go changing your robe for me, I'm yet to be covered with Lamb's blood either. So it goes.
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