A matter of truth

As finite beings, humans can grasp logical conclusions but not divine or omniscient knowledge. Humans perceive the world and make observations that inform later conclusions - but we'll never know truth in its absolute form. Having said that...

I feel very strongly about honesty and truth. There have been a couple of personal instances in my life that lead me strongly towards the open disclosure of information.

The first example is the most personal; it involved a person close to me that betrayed my trust. [Given the public forum here, you'll only be given vague references to individuals]. The conditions preceding this incident included a time period of turmoil, of accusations, and of incomplete information. The short story is that this close individual lied repeatedly during times of 'confidence,' and the kicker is that on one of these occassions they turned to me after I admitted my own lie and said that they were shocked that I had done so. A person of relatively higher authority looked down upon me and said they were disappointed in me after blatantly lying to me [this person did not know I knew the facts by direct observation]. I lost a lot of faith in this individual, and maybe I've become a little tyrannical about truth since then.

The second example turns the table 180 degrees. I was placed in a situation in college (my freshman seminar) were my teacher accused me of plagiarism. From my teacher's perspective not only had I taken credit for other ideas, I had apparently cut and pasted passages from ProQuest and other resources directly into my paper on Katherine Anne Porter [the seminar was on Gender and Self-Representation in Southern Narrative - I thought in could pick up ladies in this Woman Studies course]. When I stayed after class to hear this news, I was in shock. Fifteen minutes later, I was in the Learning Center where I worked part-time and received help writing this incredible paper - I was in tears. I was in tears and I was angry. How dare they propose absolute lies about cutting and pasting in front of my classmates? How dare they question my honor as a student? I did read others' reviews of KAP. However, I did feel I came up with my own original views backed by direct evidence in KAP's text. To shorten my story, I resubmitted the paper with every possible reference to another person's ideas and my teacher never brought the matter before the Honor Council - but I wish she had. I was stressed all through finals with this matter, and I never regained my honor in that class. A nasty evaluation about the inability of a teacher to foster fresh ideas in a freshman seminar is the only record until now - and I should really be more gracious with the weaknesses of others given my own.

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These trips down memory lane come at a time when I've been asked by members of my school not to broach uncomfortable topics. My issue of concern directly impacts the academic success of my students (i.e. their inability to receive academic assistance), however I am informed that talking openly would make the situation worse and that I would really only be doing so to make myself feel better. Sorry, but I feel strongly that honesty and open dialogue promote understanding and better solutions. Instead, I'll be sitting on the fence ignoring the issue - and I feel foolish listening to words with no explanation of reason. I'll admit cultural ignorance, but not the inability to listen and begin to understand cultural differences.

One more thought, my school is a small community and not likely receptive to this posting given the situation above. However, one standing member of this community shared something I think is important. They said that tensions often build up in small communities, like international schools, because people talk about issues to others without going to the source. They said that issues are commonly resolved when two people talk directly and that it is often a simple misunderstanding. Maybe that's not the case here, but it's more support for opening dialogue. We need trust in all communities, as a glue that binds us along with common interests and celebrations of our efforts.