Looking for trouble

I haven't found much trouble, but I've been looking.

First of all, I can't validate my curiosity; it certainly isn't a healthy one. My rationalization was that I was looking to confront my fears. I fear the seemingly random violence that has become associated with the Muslim ummah (community). Thus I went in search of volatile situations ever since the start of this Muhammad cartoon uproar, early February.

I went to juma prayer, which colleagues had associated with fiery anti-American propaganda. This Friday prayer was calm as was the one I attended last week and the 'two' I attended today. I progressed from attending my local mosque, to one on Islamabad's picturesque Jinnah Avenue just in front of the Parliament House, to two mosques in the supposed hot bed of Aabpara Market. I was treated like any other Pakistani as I took my place in the lines and humbly placed my forehead upon fine carpet, grass and dirt, a neighbor's personal prayer rug, and a straw mat respectively. I never heard my nation's name, but then I understood quite little of what was said and simply went through the motions.

I attended a peaceful protest at Aabpara Market where banners where rolled up at the end of speeches and the people quietly marched away from three lines of assembled police. To my family's dismay, I also attended a volatile protest that was odd and subsequently painted a picture of how wrong are these actions in the name of the Muslim world...

This past Sunday protestors were supposed to come out in large numbers (35,000) for a peaceful protest in Islamabad. This demonstration was apparently banned by the government, but a small number still came out - a number that was greatly augmented by people simply standing outside their homes in this vicinity. Some friendly police had just told be of the cancellation in the best English they could muster and then we all heard the cork "pop" of tear gas canisters being fired in the distance. How it started, I don't know, but the result was teenager to elder approaching the assembled riot police and fleeing as soon as a canister came their way. They were skittish as kittens but curiosity brought these cats back repeated - first a few and then many before the next canister flew and the cycle repeated. The police seemed to stay back but a single armored vehicle ran forward to deliver the canister fire - and was faced by rock, brick, and cement rolled into the street as a barrier. The people were eventually pushed back; frankly, only 20-30 people had the heart to rally people and raise earth against the juggernaut. Many people felt the sting and cough of the canisters which sprayed about 30 seconds of gas, which took at least 10 minutes to dissipate in the windless afternoon air. I say it was odd because these people were mostly gawkers and not fighters for a cause, there was no common voice among the people (though I did hear my first supposedly anti-American sentiment from a guy within 10 meters but who had no clue from where I came), and they proposed to hurt their own country men with projectiles. These people did not appear organized to move for a change of any sort; it seemed like they simply wanted to manifest their anger, draw attention to themselves, and observe the ensuing chaos, as I was doing. It felt like a game, like we were playing at war. I nearly walked over to pick-up a gas canister as a souvenir of the day but was quickly choked by the invisible air. Minutes later I heard gun-fire (rubber bullets) and moved away from the scene. My last image was of a sole police officer jumping around a corner 30 meters away with his 3 foot plastics shield and stick (surprisingly, I didn't see any civilians with wooden canes). The sight left me with shame for my appearance and for the actions of these civilians that I took no part in stopping.

The above paragraph is notably unbalanced. It represents my personal experience and subsequent catharsis of emotions. It does not reflect the small kids playing in the vicinity - oblivious to what was happening, nor the cricket games in the park and streets around the corner, nor the people exchanging embraces around the block. These other elements of Pakistan and Islamabad hold less weight in our memory and our mind which seeks quick gratification. These days I've spent walking around Islamabad have been quiet, peaceful, and blessed with images of local people making their way - I saw my first white duck in Pakistan, I saw girls playing with boys in the streets, I saw a small boy held in a red sweat shirt and kissed tenderly by his father, I have been greeted warmly, I have been treated as a brother, and I have been shown that there is confusion in the world - and I apologize for giving a biased and individual perspective on something that is larger than I can see.

I feel disenchanted with the idea that I can confront these large issues causing civil unrest. I have learned that other issues surround the facade of uproar over cartoons. Economically, the price of utilities and petroleum rise ever two weeks without regulation and the price of sugar, for the common person's daily (super sweet) local tea, has doubled from 22 PKR to 42 PKR in two months. Politically, the oppositions parties (i.e. MMA) want to make the government look bad and Bush's visit to Pakistan on March 4th is ostensibly the reason for a worldwide complete strike on March 3rd (or at least that's what I've pieced together). Intellectually, the Muhammad cartoons are part of the discussion but not outside the pen pricks of academics in the media - the people seem to care less about this angle (remember that all this is coming four months after the known printing of the Muhammad cartoons). That's what I've learned through this event, which has raised hairs and canceled at least two full days of my school (many more days for government schools, supposedly afraid that more students would then organize) - largely unnecessarily, in my opinion. Police have cordoned off each demostration, so no one could unintentionally put themselves in harm's way.

The cause of violence still seems random to me but the appearance of violence is hardly random in Islamabad - regarding these recent protests. Read the warnings that are publicly available through the US Embassy and steer clear of trouble.